Mastering the Squat Toilet.

The squat toilet (aka squatty potty), barely even a toilet at all to anyone from the USA, is basically a hole in the ground that you squat over and do your business. The really fancy ones have a flush, just like a western toilet, but if you're in a really rustic place, there's a bucket full of water next to the toilet to help you "flush." If you're lucky you'll have a private stall with a door. You're not always lucky… doors are a luxury, as are separate restrooms for men and women.

If you visit China you'll probably get the opportunity to use one.

This is probably too much information but I try to avoid pooping in squat toilets. However, sometimes you just can't avoid it. Chinese food can have an interesting and unpredictable effect on an American stomach. When nature calls and all that…

Jeff Foxworthy has a joke that goes something like; "The only thing worse than having diarrhea, is trying to have to have it quietly in a public place."

He's obviously never had a bathroom emergency in China.

Thus, I offer the following advice on how to squat like a pro:

1.    Bring your own toilet paper. I now carry little packs of tissues in each of my purses and in the pocket of my coat. Free toilet paper is not often found in the squatty potty.

2.    Squat over the hole with your heels flat on the ground. You want a stable position.

3.    Hold your pants to the front so you don't accidentally poop or pee on them. Be careful if you have stuff in your pockets – things tend to fall out when you squat. Trust me, you're not going to want to reach in after it.

4.    Wipe and throw the paper into the trash can, not the toilet.

5.    Flush. Push the handle, pull the string, pour some water down the hole.

If you complete the experience without falling, touching the floor of the bathroom, peeing on yourself, or any other mishaps, consider yourself successful.